How I Caught Madonna In The Act Still only 32, she’s as famous as Elvis and rich enough to buy Berkshire. What’s Madonna’s secret? What’s she got? And could I have some too? Well, if I ever get to meet her I’ll be sure to ask, but three hours into a visit to the set of her latest film and Madonna looks like a no—show. Meanwhile I’m stuck bang in the middle of Middle America – in Evansville, Indiana, to be exact – where all the women are called Shanda or Jolene, an evening out is a trip to the seed store, and you feel vaguely effeminate if you’re not wearing a Desert Storm T-shirt. I’m having panic attacks already. Live here long enough, you’d probably buy a Johnny Cash album and marry a close relative. If I could just get my interview with Madonna done I’d hitch a ride to the airport on the nearest crop-duster and be on the first plane out of here. The problem is I’m not even supposed to be interested in Madonna, ‘It’s not a Madonna movie,’ the people at the film studio kept s...