Madonna in the lotus position
A slave to fame. That role, above all others, has defined Madonna, the singer-actress-video-queen who has relentlessly chased the spotlight since her first No. 1 hit, āLike a Virgin,ā in 1984. And yet, after an infinite variety of poses and controversies, thereās a new Madonna in our midst ā a Madonna into yoga, meditation, motherhood, and peace of mind. Itās a rite of passage shared by many of her 39-year-old peers, one many Madonna watchers thought they would never see.
āI now realize that fame is not as important as I thought it was,ā Madonna says from her home in New York.
Fame, as she sings on her new album, āRay of Light,ā is a āsubstitute for love.ā Fame is that āfeeling of where you keep waiting to be fulfilled, but you never will if youāre looking for it in that area,ā she adds during an hourlong conversation.
Madonnaās new album just entered the Billboard charts at No. 2 and includes the 31st Top 10 hit of her career in āFrozenā (only Elvis Presley with 38 and the Beatles with 34 have more). But this album is a true watershed record for Madonna, who also sings that āwhen I was very young, nothing really mattered to me but making myself happy. ā¦ Now everythingās changed, Iāll never be the same.ā
āI totally feel like Iām starting over,ā Madonna says. āI feel like Iāve grown so much in the past couple of years. Itās been an incredible journey. Itās like a light just got turned on, which is one of the reasons I call the album `Ray of Light.ā
āI look at everything Iāve done in the past and just say, `Wow, I accomplished a lot, and there was goodness there and I could see the struggle in my search.ā But I just feel like Iām looking at life differently now.
āYoga has definitely changed my outlook on life,ā says Madonna, who started doing yoga postures two years ago when she was seven months pregnant with her now-17-month-old daughter, Lourdes. Sheās since been unable to return to her previous gym workouts. āSuddenly I couldnāt walk inside a gym,ā she says. āI was horrified by it. I had reached a burnout level or something. It felt wrong emotionally and mentally, and it felt wrong physically.ā
After giving birth, Madonna enlisted Los Angeles-based yoga teacher Denise Kaufman for private lessons in Ashtanga yoga, a very physical brand of yoga known for its flowing postures.
āIt was the hardest thing that Iāve ever done, but it was really focused and there was a great simplicity to it as well,ā says Madonna. āIām a total perfectionist who beats up on myself when I donāt get things right. And so I had to learn to a) not judge myself; and b) to let go of the idea that I had to accomplish this and master it in one day. Because you canāt do that in yoga. So it taught me patience and judgment. It also taught me that you have to earn things, that just because you want to conquer something doesnāt mean youāre going to.
āNow I feel that yoga is a total metaphor for life,ā she says. āI had this notion that it was going to be easy, but it wasnāt. And I also got really infuriated with my teacher because she would only teach me a little bit every time. And that was a huge lesson for me. Iād only get to learn the sun salutes, then the next day I could only learn one position. If youāre in a hurry, you canāt embrace or enjoy yoga. So that was another lesson for me ā to enjoy the stillness of it.ā
Madonna now takes Ashtanga yoga classes in New York ā and āI love how anonymous I feel when I go to the class. And I love how everybodyās in one room ā¦ and no oneās judging anyone. Itās a wonderful feeling ā and very inspiring.ā
Madonna has not been to India, where Ashtanga yoga started, but āIām going to go when my daughter is a little bit older,ā she says.
She insists that her yoga pursuit is genuine and is distressed by a few reviews of the āRay of Lightā album that question her purpose (most of the reviews have been raves).
āI read one review that said, `Oh, thatās all we need is one more celebrity complaining about how awful it is to be famous.ā But [the reviewer] didnāt listen to the record. Thatās not what I was saying at all. Thereās no bitterness in the record, period. For me itās all about acceptance and letting go.ā
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New respect for life
Yoga isnāt the only change in Madonnaās life.
āThere have been other things as well. The birth of my daughter has been a huge influence. Itās quite different to look at life through the eyes of your child, and suddenly you have a whole new respect for life and you kind of get your innocence back,ā says Madonna, who laughs that little Lourdes has lately been doing typical kid things like āstuffing dolls and toys into the VCR.ā
Another major change came from making āEvita,ā in which Madonna starred as Argentinian icon Eva Peron. Many skeptics criticized her for even trying.
āI went through a real metamorphosis when I did that movie,ā she notes. āPeople were constantly attacking me and misunderstanding me and using me as their whipping girl in the press. Iād become this target, and I was feeling really sorry for myself. And suddenly, when I started playing [Eva] in the movie, I could get outside of myself and I realized that I wasnāt a victim at all. To a certain extent, I had invited a lot of things. I hadnāt really taken responsibility for my role in the whole thing. So I let go of a lot of bitterness.
āI thought of all the people who were upset at me for playing Evita and why they would have been upset and how their feelings were all intertwined with what she actually did in their country. And I suddenly saw how people could get confused. And then I had more compassion for everybody. It helped me have a whole new outlook.
āYou have to work through the layers. Thatās what the whole creative process is. If where youāre at is anger and rage, then thatās what comes out of you. Thatās what informs everything you do. It might provoke people and get them to have discussions, and it might turn a few peopleās heads, but I donāt know if it inspires anyone.ā
While Madonna now talks openly about her search for enlightenment, she adds that sheās not about to get sucked into any destructive cults. āI donāt want to be a member of any group or anything. Iād like to go on my own spiritual journey,ā she says. āWhen you start calling someone a guru, and everybody flocks to them and worships them, they are only going to fall, because they are human beings. Theyāre not divine avatars.ā
Madonnaās search even led her to sing in Sanskrit on one song on āRay of Light.ā She took a crash course in Sanskrit ā four hours a day for a week ā and found it fascinating. āThe thing is, you donāt speak it, you chant it. And I like that musical quality of it. I have a very good ear for languages anyway, so I really liked it.ā
Haunting soundscapes
Musically, the new album is Madonnaās latest foray into the world of electronica, which started on her last album, āBedtime Stories,ā when she worked with producer Nellie Hooper. The new record has a few pulsing dance tracks sure to be embraced by her original pop-disco fans, but also haunting, ambient soundscapes created by co-producer William Orbit, a techno pioneer.
āI have always admired his work and have given him lots of records to remix, but I had never met him until now,ā says Madonna. āI knew that he kind of worked like a hermit in his studio in London, that he never really has produced anything but his own records and that he never really collaborated with anyone before.ā
An executive at Madonnaās label, Maverick Records, recommended Orbit, who then sent a sketchbook of musical ideas, which Madonna loved. āHe is very open and very flexible, and heās spiritual in his own way,ā she says. āAnd he was very supportive of everything that I wanted to do. Every lyric, every idea, he was right there with me, never doubting, kind of carrying me on in a way.ā
Madonna is thrilled with the sales of āRay of Lightā so far (āIām surprised, because some people told me they didnāt think it was commercialā), but she has no plans to tour behind it. She likely wonāt tour until next year, because she first wants to make a couple of movies sheās been dying to do. One is ā50 Violins,ā based on a true story of a New Yorker who teaches violin to children in inner-city schools. The other is the musical āChicago,ā in which sheāll star with Goldie Hawn.
āIāve got a lot on my plate right now,ā she says. āBut Iām not complaining. Itās a good problem to have.ā
Ā© Boston Globe
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